Laugh like never before


1)
Ek admi ko Heart ki bimari thi,
Doctor ne namak na khane ki salah di
Uski biwi hamesha uska khayal rakhne lagi Wo aadmi v bahot sawdhani rakhne laga Samay pe khana,sona,uthana aur khane mein namak bilkul na lena, regular aur samay pe dawai lena Par achanak 1 din subah wo admi bathrom k darwaje pe mara hua mila Sab hairan the ki itni sawdhani k baad aisa kaise ho gaya..?
Postmorton ki report aayi to pata
chala…

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After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

Hi sweetheart it’s Eric, I’m on the train…

“ yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting “…

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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man says, “So you’re a woman. That’s interesting. I’m a man. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days”.

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Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Esther,I’d like to ride in that helicopter..’

Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’

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Source: Got it as forwarded email

“We will do it”

means

“You will do it”

 

“You have done a great job”

means

“More work to be given to you”

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The men’s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computer”), because

  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic 
  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else 
  3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review 
  4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it.

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Sunsign

Sunsign

Source: A forwarded email 🙂

राशिफल 2012

मेष
इस साल आपका विवाह योग बन रहा है मगर ज़्यादा खुश होने की ज़रूरत नहीं है क्योंकि आप पहले से शादीशुदा हैं। गणेशा कहते हैं कि इस आफत के लिए आप खुद ज़िम्मेदार हैं। टाइमपास करने के चक्कर में ऑफिस में जिस लड़की से आपने फ्लर्ट करना शुरू किया था, उसे लेकर आप अब सीरियस होने लगे हैं। आपके प्यार में वो लड़की भी इतना आगे जा चुकी है कि आपका तलाक तक करवा सकती है वैसे भी वो घर उजाड़ने के मिशन पर निकली है।
जब-जब आप ऑफिस में होते हैं तो बीवी को धोखा देने के लिए मन में गिल्ट होता है मगर घर पहुंचते ही बीवी की कर्कश आवाज़ सुन, आप सोचते हैं कि ये यही डिज़र्व करती है।
बावजूद इसके गणेशा सलाह देंगे कि इन चक्करों में मत पड़िए। ये उम्र आपकी सैटिंग करने की नहीं, कन्यादान करने की है। ज़रा नज़र उठाकर देखिए, आपकी बेटी जवान हो गई है।
सलाह-पांच शनिवार छह कौओं को शहद चटाइए, इससे आपकी बीवी की कर्कशता चली जाएगी।

लाल रंग की गिलहरी को बूंदी का रायता खिलाएं

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Maang bharne ki saza kuch iss kadar paa raha hu,
Ki mang pori karte karte ab mang mang k kha raha hu…

Source: A forward email..

My best friend Guru was going to break the glass and jump out of the Cafe Coffee Day building. I almost let him do it.

Why because I will also do the same. You also want to do the same thing I know.

Then what man? Whenever and wherever you go, people are asking only one thing. When you are getting married, when you are getting married. Arey! Getting married is the sole purpose of having born in this planet, is it? And if we tell the age means, the reaction is even stupid. ‘Oh you are so old and you are not married yet? Why? Any problem you have?’ like that you are asking. You are reacting as if he is having some terminal illness like cancer or AIDS. Any problem YOU have? I want to ask.

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Source: A forwarded email (I am not the author of below article) 😀

grrrrrrgrrrrrrr.. grrrrrrgrrrrrr

“Hello,
plss.. talk to me… y u r not picking the call?????”

“everything is alright?”

“wat alright.. noting is alright.. see the time.. its 11PM..n m cmng now frm office..no food for me.. now i will cook… frm past 3 days..m eating only maggie… n my pm eating only me..see the price hikes, everything is 2/- more frm yesterday.. except my
salary…i think the begger in frnt of my office.. earns more thn me.. wat i shud do…”

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