Entries tagged with “Laugh”.


Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Esther,I’d like to ride in that helicopter..’

Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’

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Sunsign

Sunsign

Source: A forwarded email 🙂

राशिफल 2012

मेष
इस साल आपका विवाह योग बन रहा है मगर ज़्यादा खुश होने की ज़रूरत नहीं है क्योंकि आप पहले से शादीशुदा हैं। गणेशा कहते हैं कि इस आफत के लिए आप खुद ज़िम्मेदार हैं। टाइमपास करने के चक्कर में ऑफिस में जिस लड़की से आपने फ्लर्ट करना शुरू किया था, उसे लेकर आप अब सीरियस होने लगे हैं। आपके प्यार में वो लड़की भी इतना आगे जा चुकी है कि आपका तलाक तक करवा सकती है वैसे भी वो घर उजाड़ने के मिशन पर निकली है।
जब-जब आप ऑफिस में होते हैं तो बीवी को धोखा देने के लिए मन में गिल्ट होता है मगर घर पहुंचते ही बीवी की कर्कश आवाज़ सुन, आप सोचते हैं कि ये यही डिज़र्व करती है।
बावजूद इसके गणेशा सलाह देंगे कि इन चक्करों में मत पड़िए। ये उम्र आपकी सैटिंग करने की नहीं, कन्यादान करने की है। ज़रा नज़र उठाकर देखिए, आपकी बेटी जवान हो गई है।
सलाह-पांच शनिवार छह कौओं को शहद चटाइए, इससे आपकी बीवी की कर्कशता चली जाएगी।

लाल रंग की गिलहरी को बूंदी का रायता खिलाएं

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Source: A forwarded email (I am not the author of below article) 😀

grrrrrrgrrrrrrr.. grrrrrrgrrrrrr

“Hello,
plss.. talk to me… y u r not picking the call?????”

“everything is alright?”

“wat alright.. noting is alright.. see the time.. its 11PM..n m cmng now frm office..no food for me.. now i will cook… frm past 3 days..m eating only maggie… n my pm eating only me..see the price hikes, everything is 2/- more frm yesterday.. except my
salary…i think the begger in frnt of my office.. earns more thn me.. wat i shud do…”

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Source: Forwarded
————————
In an Office :
TOILET OUT OF ORDER… PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

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  • Major technological breakthrough! (It works OK; but looks very hi-tech!)
  • Customer satisfaction is believed assured. (We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything.)
  • Test results were extremely gratifying! (Unbelievable, it actually worked!)
  • We will look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems already.)
  • See me or let’s discuss. (Come to my office, I’ve messed up again.)
  • We are following the standard! (That’s the way we have always done it!)
  • I didn’t get your e-mail. (I haven’t checked my e-mail for days.)
  • A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing at this point.)

<< Courtesy: my company bulletin board >>

1.Like your own posts on facebook

The first and the foremost thing that irritates me in fb is that I see too many people liking their own statuses!Its more or less like laughing at your own jokes while the group around you watches you serenely!Stop liking your own statuses and pics and thereby stop making fun of yourselves.

2.Give unlimited gyan

Spare us from your unsolicited unending array of philosophical gyan!Stop trying to be a Robin Sharma or an Ayn Rand. I know you havent made them.Remember, you have stumbled on it while you are pointlessly surfing the internet and we all know you dont own that quotation.

Last month one of my friends was quoting Swami Vivekananda daily on fb.When I met him after some days, I asked him Buddy, who is Swami Vivekandanda and why do you quote his philosophy so often?What do you know about him?He answered, He is the hermit, who gives nice speeches.I copy his quotes because everybody does!
Next time you quote George Bernard Shah or upload a pic wearing that che guevera tee shirt, better be prepared.Im gonna ask you about their life history!

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